There’s No Resting Easy With An Elderly Parent

A lot of people rest easy knowing elderly Mom or Dad is being taken care of in a nursing home or by home health aides. But let me tell you something, if you live across the country, or you are just “too busy” to drop by on a regular basis, you are kidding yourself.

If your relative lived several states away, and you visited once or even twice a year (or not at all)…you did not “go through it” when they were ill or suffering from dementia, etc.

My mother has some very kind care givers helping her get dressed every morning. But they are not going to take care of her like they would their own mother.

My sister recently bought mom three new bras as the old ones were pretty shoddy. I do the laundry every week to 10 days – yet there will only be one bra – or none – in the laundry basket.

Mom can wear them a few days, but a week or longer is too much.

The other day when I did her wash, another seemingly brand new bra appeared. I checked with my sister, and yes, she now has more than she bought. It’s curious because this bra was in her dirty laundry basket…I loaded it into the washer so I know it wasn’t left over from another resident in the washer or dryer.

The apartment community washes her towels and sheets. Maybe they brought it in another time…at least it’s the right size.

Today I’m going to post a note asking the caregivers to put on a clean bra when Mom gets a bath. I’m finding if I want something done a certain way – or done at all – I need to post a note. It’s not enough to make a verbal request. With staff changes and shift changes, I have to be pro-active and oversee the caregivers. You can’t do that across the country or from the comfort of your own home.

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One Response to “There’s No Resting Easy With An Elderly Parent”

  1. Gibgrl

    Just a point with dementia and care givers, sometimes its the *dementia*. Just from the short time my dad was so ill, he thought someone took his watch, well the nurse gave it to me to take home. My mom didn’t know at the time, she thought someone took his watch. There was no fuss because we knew dad was out of it, he then went on about them “stealing time”. Other demented(sorry dementia sufferers) at the facility could also be doing goofy stuff too. Maybe the new underwear was nowhere around at bath time and then it showed up. Just a thought. But overall you are right, no way to really watch the care when you are away. Making friends with one of the regular caregivers might be good, they can give you info when you call etc. shrugs, just a thought.

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