Confessions of a Thief

I admit it…I’m a thief. A petty criminal. And since I have committed the same crimes over the course of several years, I guess that makes me a serial criminal.

I’ll explain.

Whenever I go to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, which is about twice a year, I always order some pancakes. When the waitperson brings them, they are accompanied by a little 1.7 oz bottle of syrup. I always tell the waitress I need more syrup, so I get another bottle. If someone else at the table also has pancakes, I ask for extra syrup for them.

Then I take the extra bottles home. I know I can probably buy a big bottle in the gift shop, but that’s not the point. This is more fun.It’s like I’m getting away with something, although I’m sure people do this all the time. As long as I give a good tip, I don’t think anybody is getting hurt. And it’s only twice a year.

The other thing I do is every year I go to this show held at a convention center..and I get in without paying. The first time I did it I had walked into a side door just to get out of the rain, and I found myself smack dab in the middle of one of the exhibit areas. So I decided to see what would happen if I just boldly walked into the other halls without a ticket.

Guess what….nobody stopped me. I don’t run in real quick. I casually walk in, kind of stop and decide which aisle I want to go down, and I’m in free. I figure if I just saunter in, I look less suspicious. So now I like to do this every year.

You see, it’s a woman’s show, and by the last day, the organizers are all tired. The exhibit hall entry doors are now manned by males who look like bored husbands and teenage sons who have been coerced into the job. They may glance my way, but they don’t leave their chairs. It cracks me up. I guess if they had a remote control they could press and somehow reel me over to their guard chair, they might take a more active role in their assignment. But they don’t, so I do.

I usually buy several items from the vendors, and I buy lunch, so it’s not like I don’t contribute anything to the success of the event. Some women attend the event for several days, so I could obtain a bootleg ticket from one of them, but it’s not necessary.

The rest of the year I’m pretty law-abiding. Except for exceeding the speed limit here and there. And I think I have a may have some post-it notes from a former employer. But other than that….

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7 Responses to “Confessions of a Thief”

  1. Coco

    I would totally be swiping the tiny little bottles of syrup with you. I also take those little bottles of ketchup/mustard and the small jars of preserves when I get them with a meal.

    It’s not like I need the ketchup or apricot preserves are in short supply…I just love tiny bottles.

  2. intuitivelyobvious

    The syrup bottles are pretty cute. Thought about putting a small flower in one of them.

  3. Theresa

    I would never think of doing something like that. I am a firm believer that if I do something like that karma will do something to me to cost me the same (if not more) that what was taken. I’m glad nothing has caught up to you (yet!!).

  4. intuitivelyobvious

    If karma were true, we would have a bunch of honest politicians and there would have been no Enron scandel. Thanks for your comment.

  5. Theresa

    your are mistaking karma with no conscience towards others.

  6. intuitivelyobvious

    I always heard that karma was “what goes around comes around.” I see plenty of examples where that just doesn’t happen.

  7. Theresa

    It happens, it just doesn’t happen as quickly as one would want

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